Anti-Apartheid ads to run in DC Metro

Spotted on Angry Arab.

A new ad campaign by the US Campaign to End the Israeli Occupation will be hitting the DC Metro system this month, as part of the promotion for the June 10-11 protest commemorating the 40th anniversary of the occupation of the West Bank and Ghaza Strip.

It'll be interesting to see the local spin when these are unveiled. The ACLU has already gotten involved, after the initial rejection of the ads by CBS Outdoor for their "one-sidedness." A pro-Israel think tank is downplaying the impact of the ads, saying that “it’s a poorly run... poorly executed campaign,” and that most viewers will be unsympathetic to the cause.

I'm reluctantly inclined to agree. Looking at the poster in PDF format, it doesn't really tug at the heartstrings or inspire one to action. It's preaching to the choir - admittedly a larger choir than one might find in other cities - but still. Somehow the juxtaposition of a child and a tank as daily life doesn't have the oomph it once had. It's too "foreign" for an American audience.

I would suggest a campaign that transplants the daily struggles of Palestinians to Anytown, USA. Set a series of commercials in a suburban neighborhood, show us a soccer mom trying to take her children to school or go to the doctor amidst roadblocks, checkpoints, harassment, and warring local factions. Show the concrete wall subdividing her sprawling subdivision. Show us an extrajudicial assassination of a local political leader by F-16 missile strike. That's the kind of thing that could motivate American audiences.

After all, if we can't fight the occupation there, we'll have to fight it here. Or something like that.

Well well well

If it isn't the Internet. Hello, Internet.

We can't make this stuff up, folks! Ha ha ha!

The story thus far:

On April 11, a student at Lewiston Middle School in Lewiston, Maine played what he thought was an incredibly funny prank on a group of fellow students: he slapped a ham steak on the table in front of them while they were eating lunch. See, it's funny cause the students are refugees from Somalia of Muslim faith who have settled in Maine after fleeing their war-torn homeland, and they find pigs and any pig-derived products unclean and their consumption sinful. Get it? It's funny, kinda like painting swastikas on a synagogue or peeing on a crucifix! Ha ha ha!

Well, the Somali students didn't quite get the joke. They were understandably offended, complained to the school about this harassment. The school reported the incident to the police, who investigated it as a hate incident. No charges have been filed, the student was suspended and apologized for the incident, the student's parents supported the school system's punishment.

But then some joker at www.associatedcontent.com decided to write a fake news story about the incident. A parody, if you will, like the funny people at The Onion. Only instead of using fake names and writing a fake news story, they just rewrote the AP news story on the incident, altering the quotes to downplay the details of the incident, make the Somalis look like aggressors forcing their religion on the rest of the school, and make the school administration look ridiculous and "PC." Complete with false quotes attributed to real people, such as the school superintendant saying "These children have got to learn that ham is not a toy, and that there are consequences for being nonchalant about where you put your sandwich." Ha ha ha!

And it gets FUNNIER! Fox News found the parody story and put it on NATIONAL TELEVISION! Ha ha ha! Soon the school superintendant was getting tons of hate email and angry phone calls from bigots! Hilarious!

"Leaving your sandwich on a table is now a crime in Maine?" one e-mail asked. It continued, "This child did nothing illegal in placing his sandwich in front of several intolerant people that will kill YOUR students for sitting at the same table let alone placing a sandwich next to them."

Ha ha ha! It's funny because Muslims are all terrorists! Get it?

So what's really interesting are the non-made up quotes from the readers of the Lewiston Sun-Journal in response to the story. Let's see what some residents of this "overwhelmingly tolerant city" have to say about the incident and their Somali neighbors:

"I agree that the Somalians get alot of attention and the borm in Maine residents are pushed aside. I say, they wanted to come here because Maine is a good state to live in and they feel safe here. Well they should learn to live like Mainers and enjoy whatever is thrown at them."

"WE EAT HAM HERE.....get used to it! Personally I'm affended of people who do not eat pork products, thats insane!"

"Actually ,the benifits of living here should be for LEGAL CITIZENS ONLY! NOT people from other countries.If they want to come here they should learn the language,live by OUR laws and customs.No special treatment."

"The national news media I heard had the situations correctly. Lewiston is a test center for Muslims and how much the muslims will be allowed to get away with. They have pushed hard and have always gotten what they wanted and will continue to do so until we regain our sences and put a stop to it."

"If the Somalies are so offended then why do they eat in our restaurents or even the same rooms where pork is served?They have been babied ever since they came to Lewiston and it will continue until people wake up and realize they are being used."

"Lewiston needs to get real .Having a ham or pork is the same as having a GUN in school,as if!! Lewiston needs to have schools just for the Somalians. When I went to school eveyone had to eat the same stuff regardless what or who we where ."

"If the Somalians don't like the way we are here in the US then they all need to go back to where they came from. All of the raceis in this country live by the laws and rules of this country and they need to also if they need to pray in the day then they need to stay home and pray .What is next the outlaw pork all toghter in the city Lewiston ?? "

"I think ham should be the state meat.i think I will wear a ham shirt and ham pants have a pig for a pet schools should have pork lunch every day"

"The crime is the Somalian that thinks that they can come here and get whatever they want when they want. Well, I think it is time they go home where they belong."

"Maine has always been somewhat shielded from many of the social problems that plague other regions, e.g. "multiculturalism" and "diversity". And as such hasn't felt the full sting of it's consequences----yet. But give it another couple of decades, sadly to say."

"When in Rome do as the Romans do. I was just told that the Musilm are using the water fountains in the Lewiston schools to wash there FEET!! It is part of there religion. What is next?"

"The Somolis came to our country; they have to be the ones to bend - not us. Also, it is true that a large proportion of them are sucking off the system - look it up. If some of the liberals that have posted here like them so much - have them move to your community."

"Don't let those Somalies join the football team. They'll fumble the pigskin every time. They'll just have to get a life and adapt to US customs like every other ethnic group has. If they want to live a muslim life send them to Detroit."

We can't make this stuff up, folks! Ha ha ha!

This will be one hell of a photo op

Bush's expected veto of the Iraq supplemental could come on May 1 - the 4-year anniversary of the Mission Accomplished photo-op.

One can only speculate what types of photo-ops the President is planning to celebrate this momentous occasion on which he decides the United States would rather cut funding to an unending quagmire than support the troops to reaching a definable goal. Here are some ideas:

• Pretending to land on an aircraft carrier again, but sending a collection jar around the audience of sailors and marines asking for gas money. Jet fuel ain't cheap, ya know!
  
• Deliver his speech in front of an audience of deploying soldiers at a body armor manufacturing plant. I think it would be nice for the troops to at least see what body armor looks like, even though they won't be getting any.
  
• Scowlingly surveying the devastation at Walter Reed from Air Force One circling overhead at 2,500 feet.
  
• Rose Garden press conference, no seats or microphones for the press corps, big banner reading "Iraq, Schmiraq -- look what's happening in Iran! Some crazy shit, eh?"
  
• Attending a soldier's funeral. There's a first time for everything...
  

Well if it isn't the blogosphere.

Look at you, all rolling up here like you're the Duke of Deli Meats or something. When are you gonna go and get yourself a JOB?

Curse you, Hollywood!

So far not a SINGLE studio or network has responded to my pitch letter from last week for That's Our Martin!, a half-hour reality-based sitcom featuring World Bank economist Martin Ravallion. In each episode of this weekly show, the neo-Keynesian Aussie takes his econometrics and Kuznets curves on the road...

And here's the catch - he doesn't know he's going! In the first episode, he's awakened by a camera-crew in the middle of the night, gassed with ether, and loaded in the back of a van. When he wakes up, he's in a foreign country, without money, a cell phone, or a clue where he is... Hilarity ensues as he attempts to adjust to his new career. Watch as he tries out his entitlement-enhancing strategies as a scrap-metal harvester in Bangladesh or a day laborer in Chile or gathering firewood in Niger. Hear him utter his now-famous catchphrase - "Yow! That's some positive externality, mate!"

This is a brilliant idea ok.

The ancients foretold of my arrival.

In their texts and tablets it is written "lo, for in the West there shall arrive an Egg-maker of such skill and prowess that those in observance shall kneel before him and say 'Truly you are The Truly King Of All Omelettes.' And in his wake, the art of egg-making shall be forever changed."

And now the prophesy has been fulfilled. Verily, I say, it is burdensome indeed to carry these preparational secrets alone, and thusbehoven I am passing them unto you.

Here is today's masterpiece in hypertext transfer protocol format:

Vegetabulous Seven Dap Scrambled Eggs
Ingredients: (Serves two)

4 eggs
1 splutch 2% milk
1/2 splutch half-and-half
7 daps coriander
7 daps thyme
7 daps basil
1/3 medium sized onion, diced
1/2 red bell pepper, diced
1/2 zucchini sliced lengthwise into strips of zucchini or zucchini strips
Enough olive oil
Pepper to taste
Parrano cheese

Directions:

Break eggs into a bowl. Stir in splutches of milk and half-and-half, all 7 daps of coriander and five daps each of the thyme and basil. Mix that shit around till it's like a batter and then let it sit for a while and think about what it's done.

Chop the vegetables and put enough olive oil in the pan. Heat pan to hotness and toss in the vegetables along with a few cracks of pepper and two daps thyme and basil. Fry until the onions are starting to clear and the zucchini is beginning to get browny bits and the peppers are beginning to color all and sundry with their redness. THEN drop in the egg mixture ensuring to cover all the vegetables in thoroughness. Stir and scramble eggs and vegetables. Grate in some parrano cheese and stir in before eggs are fully cooked. Serve after eggs are fully cooked.

Yes. Now go forth and enjoy!